Strike A Pose - Boston, MA

Art: Zenos Frudakis

One of our best units during the ReacHIRE training course was in public speaking. Yes, it was also one of the most painful. According to popular lore, people rank public speaking fear as a close second to fear of death. I used to feel this way but I have to say that Toastmasters in the early 1990s and a whole lot of no-choice-but-to-get-up-there in my corporate career makes me rank this fear as somewhere after losing my children, after being overcome by a large wave, and slightly before spiders. I don't lose sleep over it anymore. 

Which isn't to say that I am a good public speaker.  Nerves get anyone, I suppose, and I get hives probably noticeable from space, and yes, I generally forget about 20% of what I was going to say but as far as I know I have yet to make people fall asleep. Perhaps they are fascinated that anyone can talk so fast and turn so red that they forget to yawn. Whatever it is, I do not love public speaking but I think I do okay. 

In preparation for our public speaking session, we all watched a TED Talk by Amy Cuddy. She is amazing--fought back from a life-threatening car accident, tamed an inner critic that fiercely protested against her going to college, and tells us all to believe in ourselves. That is a terrible summary of a very fine talk. 

One of the fun parts of her talk is the Power Pose. There are certain poses that show we are in charge--arms lifted in victory, leaning powerfully forward over a desk, etc--and we all need to practice them before taking on new challenges--in our case, public speaking. You can see one sculpture demonstrating this pose at the top of this blog post. 

Image credit: thesun.co.uk

The bottom line is that you need to go troop into the bathroom before your talk, get into a stall or in front of the mirror and visualize crossing the finish line--victory!! And all your little bitty brain pieces (I am good at science) will buy into this. 

Or, to paraphrase from her biography: "Amy Cuddy’s research on body language reveals that we can change other people’s perceptions — and even our own body chemistry — simply by changing body positions." Yes, our body chemistry. Sounds better than bitty brain pieces. 

This is fascinating stuff. Take time to watch the Ted talk here: 

So we all watched this presentation before class, and then arrived at our host company to meet Charlotte, our  public speaking trainer. And she built on this confidence and gave us tools to make our presentations better now that our body chemistry had changed. One of the tools for this is what she called the Starting Five (as opposed to the Big Five which all live in Africa and you had better be scared of them. Meeting them would change your body chemistry in a different way--as in maybe RUN!). The starting five are:

1. Posture
2. Connection
3. Gestures
4. Voice
5. Pace

And I think you know what goes along with each of these five points, at least intuitively. Posture is all about owning your body, standing straight and tall and not crossing your legs and hunching inwards like you're about to get tackled by my insane dog. Might be good to practice that though if you come to visit. 

Connection is also a challenge. Trying to connect with each person in your audience is tough. Usually I find one or two friendly audience members (let's be frank, all the ReacHIRE women are friendly) and stay mostly with them. But in our training exercise, we had to maintain eye contact with each of the four watching for five seconds. Five seconds is a really long time. Yes, Usain Bolt can run between Boston and New York in that time but you try talking about something staring into someone's eyes for five seconds. Someone you don't know very well. Someone you don't want to creep out.

Gestures. First of all, no arm flapping. I love this admonishment--it's like we're all try to fly our way out of there. No hands in pockets, no arms crossed. It's tough. I can now understand why all our presidential candidates use the same gestures all the time. I want to use different gestures towards some of these self-same candidates, but that is not the point here. Nor polite, really. You want gestures that go along with what you're saying and without looking like a crane. The birdy kind.

Voice. If they can't hear you, well, what's the point really? And you don't want to end every sentence with a question mark? Because that is annoying? And what teenagers do? Get me? 

Pace. Ah, here it is. My waterloo. I tend to zoomy zoom through the beginning of presentation because I'm still getting the butterflies out, right? Those question marks at the end of sentences are addictive right?  So yes. I did finish my 5 minute presentation in 3 minutes and 50 seconds. And I wonder where my child gets his impatience. From me.

We also talked about the pyramid principle. This is where you get to the point first, support with three arguments, then share your call to action. I like this principle as it is similar to one I learned in consulting engagements--always with the three arguments. In consulting you use three bullet points. In this case, Charlotte hates bullet points. How can you hate bullet point? Bullet points are your friends. This is not an advert for the NRA. 

So our presentations. Two days ago was our final class including five-minute presentations by each of us. We could choose our topic as long as it included some data research. I chose to speak about Setting Up for Success--what to expect in a meeting in Brazil. Everyone pretended to be new sales guys on their way to Brazil to sell medical devices. 

I think it went fine. I made mistakes. I forgot to say stuff. I had chosen to go first (I always choose to go first if allowed) and had forgotten that the hand-up signal from one person meant 2 1/2 minutes left, not one minute, so I roared to an end at 3 minutes and 50 seconds. We spent the last minute staring at each other and power posing. Just kidding. Pace needs help, but it was fine. Friendly audience, topic that I love. 

All ten of us presented--topics ranging from social media to computer languages to small talk to boxing. All of them were good. Great. Excellent. And none of us were totally happy with how they turned out, but as most of us said "at least they're done" or when asked what went well, the answer came "well, at least I didn't faint!"  

I am so proud of my group from ReacHIRE and I am glad they've got my back as we all go out into the great big world. We plan to meet up every month--maybe we should start the meeting with a power pose. And a behavioral interview question. And end it with a tootsie roll pop. Why not? Make your own rules.

Fit and Flare - Boston, MA

What not to wear to an interview--see below. Image credit: www.fashiontranslated.com

Last Friday, my cohort at ReacHIRE visited with a personal shopper at a large department store in downtown Boston. I admit it is my favorite department store so please bear that in mind in terms of any bias. I am not, however, a shopper. I am a firm believer in LL Bean, hand-me-down sweaters and the consignment shop. Yes, for me as well as the kids. So, that's what Alexa (name changed for privacy) the personal shopper had to work with.

We squished ten of us into a tiny office behind the HeeBGB (wait that can't be right) Max Mara section and from there Alexa pulled out various pieces to show us what works and what doesn't work in terms of interview clothes vs daily clothes in business casual or business formal environments. She had been informed that we were currently jobless so clearly she could imagine our clothing budgets (I texted my husband during the presentation about what my budget was for the day. He didn't answer. I assumed that meant "use your own judgement"). 

Answering questions: Alexa

Now some of the rules of the fashion game were perfectly known to me. Bare legs are a "no" for an interview. Folks, I cannot understand the women here in Boston who go bare-legged in 45 degrees. It's true! I've seen it! Brrrrrrrrrr! I am as likely to be wearing long grundies under my Calvins (something DOES come between me and my Calvins, if any of you are old enough to get the allusion).

As if we needed this review, Alexa let us know that suntan-hued stockings are a faux pas. Haven't they been out since say, 1984? I have never ever ever had a tan that dark on any part of my body. My "suntan" hue would be pink-to-lobster.  Anyway, bare legs no. Suntan, no. Check, check.

I think Amanda was intimidated by us for the first hour. She was pretty serious. I was cracking bad jokes about tucking stuff in (shirts, people, what did you think I was talking about?) and she was not cracking a smile. But then I asked about shoes that show the tops of your toes...and she immediately said "toe cleavage and stockings? Why don't you just stab me?" She was in the swing of things after that. 

We then reviewed that there are comfortable shoes and then there are shoes made by men. Yes, Mr. Laboutin, I am talking about you. My toes hurt just thinking about you. Anne Klein, you're the woman for me. Wait, Enzo Angiolini used to...what happened to him? Killed by a stiletto?

I must have tuned out for a second because the next thing I heard was "you don't want your peplum longer than your jacket." What is a peplum? Have I even spelled that right? Oh it's greek for tunic. I missed the tunic discussion sorry. But no tucking in the handkerchief point from your swingy new top. No. It's a whole new world out there for me, folks. 

So rose quartz is the pantone color of the year so expect a lot of blush and bashful theming (does anyone get the Steel Magnolias reference? No?) Okay, I hate rose quartz so it won't be on me. Also fit and flare dresses are in. Fit through the waist and then flaring. I love this term. Fit and Flare. Must try to use as much as possible. I think it used to be "A-line" but that is so boring.

We then saw a lot of really nice stuff. St. Johns seems to be the middle-aged corporate lady uniform, but I haven't got $395 to spend on a trouser. One jacket ($1650) Alexa termed as an "investment piece." I dunno, I think I would rather invest in say, Facebook stock. Or Slack. Whatever. 

One of our crew asked about scarves and best ways to tie them. And Alexa did a great job of demonstrating some perfect swooshes and whatever. She mentioned that "turning your head is probably required for your job, so don't do a huge bow on the side." Hadn't occurred to me, but I was starting to get her dry sense of humor. 

Demonstrating how to tie a scarf (model blurred for privacy!)

I also learned a new word which I will have a challenge to spell. Alexa matched a shiny pretty jacket with a red dress, saying that this would give you a bit more "jhujghzzz". No, "zhuzsh" I have no clue. But I plan to use the term frequently. Like fit and flare. 

After an hour and a half we were released out into the store for our own fun. There was a big promotion going on, and I have to admit I did take advantage of it. Not one, but two fit & flare dresses from my buddy at Ralph Lauren. Men can't make comfy shoes but they can fit & flare. 

And now we are dressed for success.Or most of us are: of course we had to have ONE problem child ;)

What Not to Wear

The Secret is Eggs

Image credit: www.frugal-cafe.com

Yesterday we had our last class with ReacHIRE. Technically we still have "Dress for Success" at Lord & Taylor on Friday, and final presentations and graduation on Tuesday, but the program is essentially done. Next week I'll sum up my takeaways on the program as well as any heretofore unspoken catty comments about its participants. I am just kidding, folks!! Give this mother-of-twins re-entering the workforce a break!! Okay, the twins are not re-entering-- nine-year old boys have a truly terrible work ethic.  Today one completed a homework assignment with "Na Na". When I asked, he said "it's tuna, get it?" What this had to do with math, I cannot say. Oh, two. Hunh.

Anyway, yesterday. Yesterday we spent quite some time with LinkedIn. The class was billed as social media but it was heavily concentrated on LinkedIn. I had been hoping to learn how to tweet all my incredibly earth-shattering comments on snapchat or instagram (okay, I get that tweeting goes with the bird) but no. Instead, I learned to stalk my old corporate buddies. No, stalk is the wrong word. There is no single word--it was a walk down memory lane as I looked through the pages of some of my former colleagues and what they are doing today. 

We covered many valuable insights about networking and posting and being involved. I won't be a walking ad campaign for Linked In but I will say that it has gotten much more powerful since I left the workforce nine years ago. Also more expensive. Yeah, everything is. I enjoyed the class and wrote down a to-do list about forty items long,  Then it was time for Nuts & Bolts--a summary of what was next for us as we continued on the ReacHIRE path.

What's next is a project assignment. ReacHIRE works with its hiring partners to find us short-term projects that may or may not turn into full-time or permanent roles. It's the part of the dance where we line up on one wall and the dance partners on the other, hoping to find the partner who is neither too short nor too tall, and won't step on your feet. I cannot spill what is ReacHIRE's "special sauce", as they put it, but I definitely feel like there is quite a team working with me as I step onto that dance floor. Bring on the Dancing Queen!

This morning I went for a walk in the conservation woods as I do every day with my dog Coal. For the first time, one of my neighbors decided to join me on the three-mile loop. She is a working mom who I see mostly at the bus stop with her third grade and first grade kids. We chatted about all kinds of things, including town meetings (do NOT get me started), historic homes (hers) and many other topics. Then we started talking about how I was going back to work.

I was just telling my neighbor about how I was interviewing a new babysitter today and I was excited and nervous about re-entering the workforce and making the rest of my life work. Such as helping kids with homework Na Nas, commuting to wherever, and still making dinner that is edible. And she looked at me and said "you can do it. We can all do it. The secret is eggs." I laughed and said "what???" (oh, all right I admit that I questioned her sanity for just one second...just one...)

And she explained that eggs were the root of successful women everywhere. Eggs. Why? Eggs can be dinner. If you're working late and can't think of what's for dinner, there are so many ways to make eggs. Eggs with broccoli. Egg sandwich. Omelettes, frittatas, whatever. It's protein and your kids will eat them. Well, mine eat them. Mine eat everything. 

Okay, don't expect this, kids! image credit: www.fitnessrepublic.com

And I admit that I got home from the walk and thought "whhhaaaaaaat? All these years there has been a secret to making career and family work and no one told me?"  Eggs. Hunh.

Behavioral Interviewing vs. Sticking a Fork in Your Eye - Marlborough, MA

Photo credit: revision3.com

Today's ReacHIRE class was about "Surviving the Behavioral Interview."  I think we could re-title it "Which would you rather? Stick a fork in your eye or get asked about a time you failed?" Well, okay, that's a little long.  But before I get into that, I must first tell you about our host company's awesomeness. Without telling you the awesome company's name. 

We were hosted out in Marlborough by a large medical company. A locally-grown company that has recently moved headquarters into farm country. At least I think of Marlborough (when I don't think of smoking cowboys) as farm country--my gorgeous 35-minute drive from home was past colonial homes, Christmas tree farms, and Assabet Wildlife Refuge. A small-road commute. Love. If I have to commute by car, gimme a single lane road with an absence of deer and snow (yeah, I know, it's December and it kind of feels like for whom the bell tolls...). 

So Awesome Host Company (AHC for short) set us up in a nice space called the Collaboratory (catchy, no?). On our way to the Collaboratory, we walked like hamsters in a habitrail (do they still sell these things?) from one building to another through glass windowed above-ground tunnels. And I saw the first glimpse that I would love this company--signs for Service Animals down certain corridors. Perhaps the nightmare I had last week about being late to this day (I wasn't) and with my dog mysteriously in my car was AHC-sent? Next time I have this nightmare I will admonish myself that perhaps Coal will be invited to stay. Probably not as he has a habit of eating everything off the tops of tables.

Anyway, after snagging a coffee and some fruit (note that this medical company had healthy breakfast and healthy lunch for us--I was hoping for scones and fries, but no luck), we sat down. First we heard about the businesses of AHC--and let me tell you only that they do some very cool research and have massively important products --- and why the company thinks the ReacHIRE program is great. I love to hear that companies think it is great because I do too.

Then we were briefed by our ReacHIRE human resources associate on what exactly is a behavioral interview. In a nutshell it's a process that uses past behavior as a predictor of future performance. My 9-year old twins had better hope that they do not meet this interview to get into private school (if they do go someday) because it's going to get ugly on the past behavior. And good luck to all you real criminals out there.

Behavioral interviewing uses open-ended questions that are  not easy to answer off-cuff. Here are three of the ones (8 pages of them!) that we were provided prior to our class today:

1. What situation has motivated you to put in extra effort?
2. Tell me a time when you took a stand on something? What resistance did you encounter and how did you overcome this? (by the way, this particular question was asked by the mock interviewer--and I was prepared, yay me!)
3. Give me some examples of when you've shown initiative at work.

And on and on. These are tough questions, especially for some of us who have been away from paying jobs for a while. Sure I could use examples from my volunteering with Wellesley and college application mentoring but it's important to also have "real-life" (as if volunteering is not real) examples. Actually number 2 would be awesome to answer as a mom: like when I took a stand on no screens before 5 pm, and I can tell you how successfully I did with my minecraft-obsessed mini-men. Or not.

To prepare for the interview, I trotted out my career story last night and thought about it. I like my career story. I don't really know if anyone else does, but I do. I loved my alma mater, my taking a chance on San Francisco, working at Visa, going for my MBA at Kellogg, moving to Brazil, etc. It makes me proud. But then I have to communicate it, right? 

One of the most important learnings for me on answering interview questions is the methodology of Circumstance Action Result. In each response, I needed to include circumstance (context or real life-situation), then actions I took to resolve it and then what was the result, hopefully quantifiable. It is a helpful framework in answering any question anywhere. 

After a few minutes of practice with our cohort, we broke up into groups of two cohort members and two AHC managers--one was a hiring manager, and one was a talent acquisition person. These were mock interviews--not one of us was trying for a job at AHC (yet...). It was completely amazing to have these corporate managers take at least two hours out of their days to meet with us, interview us, and then give us feedback on our answers. 

It helped to have a ReacHIRE colleague in the interview process--I went second so I could hear how she answered certain questions and answer them in my mind. We have much different work histories but similar interests, and the manager who interviewed us was in our field (marketing). The interviewing manager was helpful about telling us how to make some answers better, how to really build the stories and which buzz words are current in his industry. He almost caught me off-balance when he asked me if I had any questions for him about working with AHC (pretending it was a real interview) but I had some up my sleeve. Good fun.

I no longer want to stick a fork in my eye rather than interview. I have a lot of work to do, of course, especially in remembering the results of long-ago projects. As in last week's. Does anyone remember Thanksgiving? Try a C-A-R on that. 

Now, in the comment box below, please tell me how you would answer this one: "Did you achieve your objectives for last year? How do you know?"   Go.