(Don't) Consider Yourself At Home

Rehearsals for Oliver! Do you know how to heel click? Me neither

For the last couple of weeks I have been immersed in the side of life that is not job search. One of my sons, age 9, was in the final weeks of rehearsal for community theater in a musical called Oliver! I will try not to ooze with pride for a little kid who really doesn't come to song naturally but was determined to be a part of the show. One could learn a lot from the little ones, no?
 
The reality of community theater is that this is unpaid fun for the actors--most of them have day jobs in anything from corporate security to a pediatrician to elementary school kids. It was all-consuming--but they're all back to work and school today, most of them probably with the catchy music still playing in our heads.

The music that I've been singing all morning is Consider Yourself which has lines such as "consider yourself well-in, consider yourself part of the furniture..." It is a spectacular song and worth googling if you have a minute or two. And so with that song still ringing in my ears, I shall tell you why I have to not consider myself at home.

It's time to get out and get going. As of yet, no job offers have arrived miraculously at my feet. So far, the ReacHIRE program has not offered me a chance at a job, internship or project. It's tough out there for women returning to work...and this with high employment in many areas of the country.

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal ("Tech Companies Help Women Get Back to Work", April 10, 2016) is both optimistic and scary. While some companies are purposefully going after returning women, some are quite clearly ignoring them in favor of recent graduates and those who never left.  

Those that are now making moves towards pursuing returning women are cited as being Silicon Valley based. But not all--here I will hat-tip to those companies I know are making things happen for returning women: Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and JP Morgan Chase. How I wish I wanted to be in finance, or was once in finance, or perhaps even lived in New York. Wait, not the last part--I love my Boston home. I interviewed at Morgan Stanley and had an informational interview at JP Morgan when I was graduating college--I clearly wasn't cut out for them then, and I don't think I will be now. But they're doing stuff for older women and I applaud!

One particular paragraph of the WSJ article is arresting: "Nearly 90 percent [of women who have stepped away from their careers for an extended period] attempt to resume their careers, but only 40% land full-time jobs." A further 25% take part-time jobs, and 10% become self-employed. That is a bummer. But not one that is going to take the wind out of my sails. 

Job search takes a long time: according to this excellent LinkedIn post, anywhere from six months to two years. So, how to keep the energy going? Join community theater? Nope, can't sing. Volunteer for everything? Did that, now trying to reduce my 9 volunteer roles to 2 or 3. Concentrate on job search? Ah, yes.  And here's my plan:

Consider myself out of my home...and talking with everyone I meet about what they do, what they think of it, and how their company thinks about returning to work after years away. Some of my contacts have not been particularly successful or fun, and that's okay. But as we all know, the likelihood is that my next job will come from referral, not from shooting a resume through space. 

On my list of people to contact today: one of my husband's old co-workers from BCG, a neighbor,  a friend from Brazil and a former classmate. I'm not asking them for jobs; I'm asking them for coffee. Actually I'll buy my own. Or a walk around the woods--the goslings are out and times are good in spring-y Boston.  

Be back soon. Ack, another Oliver! song...

The Secret is Eggs

Image credit: www.frugal-cafe.com

Yesterday we had our last class with ReacHIRE. Technically we still have "Dress for Success" at Lord & Taylor on Friday, and final presentations and graduation on Tuesday, but the program is essentially done. Next week I'll sum up my takeaways on the program as well as any heretofore unspoken catty comments about its participants. I am just kidding, folks!! Give this mother-of-twins re-entering the workforce a break!! Okay, the twins are not re-entering-- nine-year old boys have a truly terrible work ethic.  Today one completed a homework assignment with "Na Na". When I asked, he said "it's tuna, get it?" What this had to do with math, I cannot say. Oh, two. Hunh.

Anyway, yesterday. Yesterday we spent quite some time with LinkedIn. The class was billed as social media but it was heavily concentrated on LinkedIn. I had been hoping to learn how to tweet all my incredibly earth-shattering comments on snapchat or instagram (okay, I get that tweeting goes with the bird) but no. Instead, I learned to stalk my old corporate buddies. No, stalk is the wrong word. There is no single word--it was a walk down memory lane as I looked through the pages of some of my former colleagues and what they are doing today. 

We covered many valuable insights about networking and posting and being involved. I won't be a walking ad campaign for Linked In but I will say that it has gotten much more powerful since I left the workforce nine years ago. Also more expensive. Yeah, everything is. I enjoyed the class and wrote down a to-do list about forty items long,  Then it was time for Nuts & Bolts--a summary of what was next for us as we continued on the ReacHIRE path.

What's next is a project assignment. ReacHIRE works with its hiring partners to find us short-term projects that may or may not turn into full-time or permanent roles. It's the part of the dance where we line up on one wall and the dance partners on the other, hoping to find the partner who is neither too short nor too tall, and won't step on your feet. I cannot spill what is ReacHIRE's "special sauce", as they put it, but I definitely feel like there is quite a team working with me as I step onto that dance floor. Bring on the Dancing Queen!

This morning I went for a walk in the conservation woods as I do every day with my dog Coal. For the first time, one of my neighbors decided to join me on the three-mile loop. She is a working mom who I see mostly at the bus stop with her third grade and first grade kids. We chatted about all kinds of things, including town meetings (do NOT get me started), historic homes (hers) and many other topics. Then we started talking about how I was going back to work.

I was just telling my neighbor about how I was interviewing a new babysitter today and I was excited and nervous about re-entering the workforce and making the rest of my life work. Such as helping kids with homework Na Nas, commuting to wherever, and still making dinner that is edible. And she looked at me and said "you can do it. We can all do it. The secret is eggs." I laughed and said "what???" (oh, all right I admit that I questioned her sanity for just one second...just one...)

And she explained that eggs were the root of successful women everywhere. Eggs. Why? Eggs can be dinner. If you're working late and can't think of what's for dinner, there are so many ways to make eggs. Eggs with broccoli. Egg sandwich. Omelettes, frittatas, whatever. It's protein and your kids will eat them. Well, mine eat them. Mine eat everything. 

Okay, don't expect this, kids! image credit: www.fitnessrepublic.com

And I admit that I got home from the walk and thought "whhhaaaaaaat? All these years there has been a secret to making career and family work and no one told me?"  Eggs. Hunh.

The Inner Critic - Boston, MA

 

image credit: franticbutfabulous.com

One of the hardest parts of joining a career re-entry program is having to look hard at yourself. The easy parts for me are software coding (just kidding, that's incomprehensible but entertaining) and hearing from our training partners about what they do and how we can use their technologies. Frankly it's fun to be invited into these different companies and cultures and getting an inside look at free lunch, key cards to get into parking lots and taking the wrong elevator which means you are 10 minutes late to a meeting and locked out. Well, not me personally. In all seriousness, I am grateful to these companies that have volunteered space and time to support women going back to work.

The hard parts: elevator pitch writing, profile summaries, re-writing the resume, etc. And when I say "etc." I mean pulling out your strengths and weaknesses without cringing and beating yourself up about decisions of the past. Dusting off what you did and making it shine. Trying to explain what you've been doing for the last eight years.

Here's the root of the root (as ee cummings would say): I have no regrets about taking time off. In fact the whole phrase "taking time off" is hilarious to me. I have twins. I have boys. They both began life with health issues. And even now resolved, there is no "time off." There is no off-ramping--who comes up with phrases? I didn't off-ramp, I got into the craziest dang rotary of my life--picture the Arc de Triomphe one where you can't even figure out which exit is next.

In fact, going to an office would be quite relaxing for me. If I get asked in an interview about whether or not I am a good multi-tasker, I promise that I will not burst into hysterical laughter. Okay, kinda promise. Depends on how many soccer games, PTO meetings, kung fu, homework meltdowns and Nutcracker practices I have had the night before. 

I spent the last six years in Brazil. That experience I would never trade for more time in the meeting rooms. I learned how to do business in another culture and language, found ways to turn my own impressions into helpful information for fellow expatriates (I blogged about security issues in the big city of São Paulo) and volunteered in my kids' international school. I have friends from all over the world, not only from Kellogg where I got my MBA, but the expatriates posted to Brazil. I have learned out to say sit down in German (hinsetzen!) when super-tall blonde people get in my view of the TVs at the World Cup party at the German Institute. It could be useful; one never knows.

But I digress. What else is new? Oh yes, the self-awareness and self-appraisal--notice how I found a way to avoid it again? So the first assignment was the elevator pitch. That is really tough. I hope I get on an elevator that goes really fast and I can just get out two sentences like "I am a market development and management professional who enjoys working with new products and tailoring messages to target audiences." How does one summarize who they are and what they enjoy in a sentence? And not I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain which would never get me a job because I don't have a singing voice. See how nicely that can be changed from "warbles like a sick heron".  It's all in your phrasing.

We spent time looking at how former co-workers would describe us. I talked to one former boss in Miami who gave me such a lovely long positive list, I literally blushed in front of my computer. I thought to myself "wow, I really was pretty good at what I did." Because sometimes we forget. Sometimes we also forget our children at the bus stop but who's counting? And then another former colleague I asked for my strengths also sent me my weaknesses (without me asking! Be nice!) and I thought "hey, wtf?" and then I read it and I said, yes those are true. Mostly when he said that I could be a little direct in my feedback. Ummm, yes, true story. I am not mean. Just direct. 

Now I am working on my resume. The format has all changed from when I was a wee thing (eight years ago) and apparently some of my really proud moments are not relevant to my resume. Like learning Portuguese in six months. Like getting appointed to a town committee and two PTO roles in the first year I was here (maybe I was supposed to duck? Wait, I think I just figured out why those are not positives). A friend just gave me a set of napkins that read "Stop me before I volunteer again." Sigh.

One of the best presentations for me so far in this program has been a talk by Susan Brady about Coaching Your Inner Critic. You can see her here.  Her inner critic training is really about telling yourself that you have to be on the lookout for those moments when you feel like being critical of others ("He just doesn't get it." or "what an idiot") -- One-Up moments -- and those moments when you are overcritical of yourself "I can't believe I said that" or " what a dumb thing I just did" -- One-down moments.The simple concept is to try to "right size" our self-image. 

On this journey from stay-at-home mom (and awesomely interesting blogger, let's be truthful here, oops back to the lesson above) to severely-delayed-at-Alewife-going-to-work-again, the challenge will be confidence. Yes, I did that, yes I am doing that, and yes, I am ready to do the other thing now. Did that make sense? Note to self: work on elevator pitch.

And to all you self-doubts, hinsetzen!!

 

Vulnerability Management - Boston, MA

Image courtesy of the customizewindows.com

So yesterday my ReacHIRE cohort visited a data security firm in downtown Boston. The day reminded me of many things about my life as a full-time worker. 

The day started with unwarranted elation. I got my kids dressed, fed and on the yellow bus all by myself (BH --my husband --is traveling). I am pretty sure their pants were on frontwards but possibly one was inside out. Whatever. 

I hopped in the car for what is usually a 25 minute drive to the Alewife T station...I was singing to the Eagles (I love Sirius) when the traffic came to a dead halt in Lexington. So instead of arriving at 8:05 at the station (I was already fantasizing about a huge latte at the Starbucks in Boston and taking my time getting to the company), I got there at 8:32. I ran down the escalator, chucked my card in the tollbooth, and hopped onto the subway car just as the doors were closing. Yep sweating and puffing, but I was on. So much for unwarranted elation.

But enough about the commute. That was the bad stuff about working days. Back to the good stuff: The company we visited was only 2 minutes from the T station at Downtown Crossing so I was at the reception desk at 8:58 and sitting at the conference table at 9:01. Love high speed elevators. 

As the first two presenters got started on talking about the company, I admit I fell a little bit in love. Not with the presenters, which would be inappropriate, but with the company. What they are doing is much like my first job except fast-forwarded to the 21st Century (yep, I had the other job in the last century). The ideas are the same: the execution completely different. The company is different; a startup where I worked for a large "non-profit" association. But the fun is there.

My first job was in risk management and security for a large credit card company in California. Oh, all right, it was Visa, you can see that on my resume. That job was SO MUCH FUN! It was like cops and robbers -- and we really did have former FBI agents on staff. We were always trying to keep one step ahead, but usually trying to be less than one step behind, the bad guys. Visa would put a hologram on the credit card: within days the bad guys had copied it. Ditto magnetic strips, coded numbers around the banners, whatever. We had a top secret lab where a chosen few got to see the latest in bad guy hi-jinks. I only visited once in three years but I still remember thinking "THIS IS SO COOL!"  Too bad I had to get an MBA. Oh, okay, maybe I would have gotten tired of the job in the end but mostly it was always a new challenge and a new solution.

Data security reminds me much of this. Continually checking networks and assets for known threats, and being ready for unknown threats by practicing "disaster recovery". 

The new term I learned for all of this is "vulnerability management." And it reminded me of talking with one Visa risk management guy who said to me "it is no wonder that we are always behind--bad guys take this even more seriously than we do. They spend all their time being bad while we treat this as a job. To them it is life." That makes us vulnerable.

I love what they are doing. One of their offerings is hacking into their clients' computers and showing them where they didn't take the appropriate protection or recovery steps. They have programs to discover and fight the vulnerabilities. They are the cops to the data robbers of today. 

A reminder perhaps that one can find fun jobs. Maybe in two different centuries. Millenia even.

Day 1 - The Jungle Gym - Waltham MA

So today was the first day of moving my hands from the rungs on the jungle gym where they have been for eight years. Until today, I have been a stay-at-home mom--a term I studiously avoided for the first years as I took on small ad-hoc projects and started my own marketing agency. It is a term I now use with a great deal of happiness--I have loved staying home with my kids. Not everyone has the opportunity--which was largely brought about by my husband who has always supported me being home or me being at work, or me being where I need to be at that time. I have no regrets about stepping out. I think.

A couple of weeks ago I attended a "re-launch" conference in New York. It was amazing for me in several ways. Not the least of which was finding out that Amtrak is so much better than driving. But I digress. Here's what I learned:

One: There are so many amazing women who are out of the workforce and some (lucky world) want back in. The woman sitting next to me held a PhD in health policy and an MBA from Harvard Business School. She had stepped out because her husband had a stroke. Now she was teaching at a community college as she tried to find her way back in. There were others like her, and not like her--each of us has our own story on stepping out and stepping in. We just need someone to listen to why we want back in.

Two: When the leader of the conference asked the women conference attendees to raise their hands if they are a current or past president of the PTO (Parent Teacher Organization) in their time away, about 80% of the room raised their hands. We are all still Type A. We all know how to manage, how to multi-task, how to deal with the world's toughest and sometimes unreasonable clients (yep, the little tiny ones). The only clients who are not always right.

Three: The biggest challenge to most of us was how to network and show our abilities. This is ironic as most of us are pretty good at networking for our children, or for our households or for our non-profit work. But when it comes to ourselves getting back to business, we don't know how to start. 

The way to start is to just get out of the house. Make an appointment with a former work colleague--she or he does not remember you from hair-up-in-a-scrunchy, dribbled-on-sweats and no-shower-for-days days. No, they remember you from Brooks Brothers suits and possibly, unfortunately, the shoulder pad days. 

Join a career relaunch program. That's what I did. Nine women who are just like me. Just looking for their next rung on their own personal jungle gym of life. And are looking to give each other a leg up.

Let's go.