Setting Up for Success - Getting to "No"

Recently I had a series of interviews at a company which I highly respect and for which I very much would like to work. It's a company that focuses on its end customer as well as the sales channel, and though many companies say they do that, the truth is that very few actually do so.

My first three interviews of five were fantastic. I loved the women I would be working for (yes, they happened to all be women), including the direct manager and the manager's manager. They were smart and funny, and as we talked I could see myself working there. 

After my conversation with the director, I immediately went to talk with my husband about how we would be able to find a nanny soon enough, what it all meant to planned trips to Brazil, etc. I was so excited. Yes, cart before the horse is what I was doing. In my defense, while I didn't have an offer, when you have kids involved in the equation, you have to do more advance planning.

The cart came to a screeching halt during my next two interviews. As I talked with the executives with whom I would be directly working, I began to realize the lack of complexity and creativity of the role I was interviewing for. It was a job I would have loved, and in fact had, fifteen years ago.

Having willingly, and mostly enjoyably, taken off time to be with my kids, I realize that I may have to take a step back as I come back into the work place. I personally have no issue working for people younger than me, as long as I have something to learn from them, and they from me. A job really does have to be mutually beneficial or you are not going to be successful. 

The next interview was with the person with whom I would be working: she is smart and creative and needed someone to take the operational non-creative stuff off her plate. She needed a (work) partner who would be there for the long run, not looking for the next growth opportunity. Of course, I fit into the latter. She saw it; I saw it. The good news about that empathy is that there were no hard feelings when I declined the role (again, it had not been offered, and I don't know if it actually would have been offered--this was pre-emptive).

As I've said before, I have few regrets about how I have worked, and then worked at home, during my life. I love my story. And the benefit of maturity is realizing the need to set yourself and everyone else up for success. Working a role that is far outside your strengths and interests is not going to make you happy--it will make you miserable, and by extension, everyone around you will be miserable. Of course I have the benefit of not having to return to work immediately due to financial pressures. I can choose. Not everyone can.

This is all well and good until you have to get yourself to say "no" (or perhaps, no thanks to this particular role) to a company you like, to managers you like and to going back to corporate, a place you would very much like to be, after years out. It kept me awake for many a night.

So, I'm back at the drawing board, networking (soon to be a blog post), applying, interviewing and doing my usual volunteer roles. All ten of them. I would really like to go back to paid work, but it has to be right for everyone. Setting myself up for success. Hopefully on my way to "yes!"