(Don't) Consider Yourself At Home

Rehearsals for Oliver! Do you know how to heel click? Me neither

For the last couple of weeks I have been immersed in the side of life that is not job search. One of my sons, age 9, was in the final weeks of rehearsal for community theater in a musical called Oliver! I will try not to ooze with pride for a little kid who really doesn't come to song naturally but was determined to be a part of the show. One could learn a lot from the little ones, no?
 
The reality of community theater is that this is unpaid fun for the actors--most of them have day jobs in anything from corporate security to a pediatrician to elementary school kids. It was all-consuming--but they're all back to work and school today, most of them probably with the catchy music still playing in our heads.

The music that I've been singing all morning is Consider Yourself which has lines such as "consider yourself well-in, consider yourself part of the furniture..." It is a spectacular song and worth googling if you have a minute or two. And so with that song still ringing in my ears, I shall tell you why I have to not consider myself at home.

It's time to get out and get going. As of yet, no job offers have arrived miraculously at my feet. So far, the ReacHIRE program has not offered me a chance at a job, internship or project. It's tough out there for women returning to work...and this with high employment in many areas of the country.

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal ("Tech Companies Help Women Get Back to Work", April 10, 2016) is both optimistic and scary. While some companies are purposefully going after returning women, some are quite clearly ignoring them in favor of recent graduates and those who never left.  

Those that are now making moves towards pursuing returning women are cited as being Silicon Valley based. But not all--here I will hat-tip to those companies I know are making things happen for returning women: Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and JP Morgan Chase. How I wish I wanted to be in finance, or was once in finance, or perhaps even lived in New York. Wait, not the last part--I love my Boston home. I interviewed at Morgan Stanley and had an informational interview at JP Morgan when I was graduating college--I clearly wasn't cut out for them then, and I don't think I will be now. But they're doing stuff for older women and I applaud!

One particular paragraph of the WSJ article is arresting: "Nearly 90 percent [of women who have stepped away from their careers for an extended period] attempt to resume their careers, but only 40% land full-time jobs." A further 25% take part-time jobs, and 10% become self-employed. That is a bummer. But not one that is going to take the wind out of my sails. 

Job search takes a long time: according to this excellent LinkedIn post, anywhere from six months to two years. So, how to keep the energy going? Join community theater? Nope, can't sing. Volunteer for everything? Did that, now trying to reduce my 9 volunteer roles to 2 or 3. Concentrate on job search? Ah, yes.  And here's my plan:

Consider myself out of my home...and talking with everyone I meet about what they do, what they think of it, and how their company thinks about returning to work after years away. Some of my contacts have not been particularly successful or fun, and that's okay. But as we all know, the likelihood is that my next job will come from referral, not from shooting a resume through space. 

On my list of people to contact today: one of my husband's old co-workers from BCG, a neighbor,  a friend from Brazil and a former classmate. I'm not asking them for jobs; I'm asking them for coffee. Actually I'll buy my own. Or a walk around the woods--the goslings are out and times are good in spring-y Boston.  

Be back soon. Ack, another Oliver! song...

Setting Up for Success - Getting to "No"

Recently I had a series of interviews at a company which I highly respect and for which I very much would like to work. It's a company that focuses on its end customer as well as the sales channel, and though many companies say they do that, the truth is that very few actually do so.

My first three interviews of five were fantastic. I loved the women I would be working for (yes, they happened to all be women), including the direct manager and the manager's manager. They were smart and funny, and as we talked I could see myself working there. 

After my conversation with the director, I immediately went to talk with my husband about how we would be able to find a nanny soon enough, what it all meant to planned trips to Brazil, etc. I was so excited. Yes, cart before the horse is what I was doing. In my defense, while I didn't have an offer, when you have kids involved in the equation, you have to do more advance planning.

The cart came to a screeching halt during my next two interviews. As I talked with the executives with whom I would be directly working, I began to realize the lack of complexity and creativity of the role I was interviewing for. It was a job I would have loved, and in fact had, fifteen years ago.

Having willingly, and mostly enjoyably, taken off time to be with my kids, I realize that I may have to take a step back as I come back into the work place. I personally have no issue working for people younger than me, as long as I have something to learn from them, and they from me. A job really does have to be mutually beneficial or you are not going to be successful. 

The next interview was with the person with whom I would be working: she is smart and creative and needed someone to take the operational non-creative stuff off her plate. She needed a (work) partner who would be there for the long run, not looking for the next growth opportunity. Of course, I fit into the latter. She saw it; I saw it. The good news about that empathy is that there were no hard feelings when I declined the role (again, it had not been offered, and I don't know if it actually would have been offered--this was pre-emptive).

As I've said before, I have few regrets about how I have worked, and then worked at home, during my life. I love my story. And the benefit of maturity is realizing the need to set yourself and everyone else up for success. Working a role that is far outside your strengths and interests is not going to make you happy--it will make you miserable, and by extension, everyone around you will be miserable. Of course I have the benefit of not having to return to work immediately due to financial pressures. I can choose. Not everyone can.

This is all well and good until you have to get yourself to say "no" (or perhaps, no thanks to this particular role) to a company you like, to managers you like and to going back to corporate, a place you would very much like to be, after years out. It kept me awake for many a night.

So, I'm back at the drawing board, networking (soon to be a blog post), applying, interviewing and doing my usual volunteer roles. All ten of them. I would really like to go back to paid work, but it has to be right for everyone. Setting myself up for success. Hopefully on my way to "yes!"

Community C6

Photo credit: www.spaceforgiants.org

This morning we had our first alumnae get-together of the C6. Cohort 6 of ReacHIRE Boston. I wish I had come up with that cute acronym but alas, it was one of the other 9 women who make up the C6.  Oh all right, it is also the cute name of a risk intelligence company, a Corvette and possibly also a spinal nerve. I hope it's the last one so then we have a motto that goes like this "C6! You are getting on my last nerve!" Or not.

We completed the ReacHIRE training program and graduated in mid-December. It seems like a million years ago yet yesterday. I admit it's been hard to go from seeing these great ladies every week, mostly twice a week, to now once-a- month reunions. We do talk through slack or email or Linked In every few days but it's not the same as meeting up in a training partner company's kitchen to figure out the coffee machine (or fix it by leaping on top of the counter like one of us did), trading commute stories, or puzzling over homework issues. 

In a way, an 8-week program like ReacHIRE is very much like a micro-mini MBA. A nano-MBA plus software engineering. Yes, we worked through cases, we were one with the excel tables, and we had to present findings in front of others. But most of all, a program such as this one gives you the ultimate gift: the people.

I was reminded of my MBA program today--Kellogg full-time, X years ago where X exceeds 10. See, it's all math all the time with me. I got a note from a friend from my first MBA group telling me he was safe in Istanbul after an explosion had gone off in that city. Now I don't see this friend very often--possibly the last time in person was in 2001 when he got married in Italy two weeks after 9/11. But he is a person that I know my husband (also a Kellogg alum) and I each could count on for anything. 

Because yes, my husband and I met at our MBA, and married 5 years after graduation. We attended several Kellogg weddings all over the world, and keep in touch with a (dwindling but still real) number of our colleagues. They are the ones who accompanied us changing from "hey, whatever" undergrads to driven business folks, whether we worked in consulting, non-profit, or wherever life took us.

And here we are a different cohort, the 10 of us. We are changing from stay-at-home moms, or volunteer mavens, back to the "working world." Just like my MBA experience, I find that each of us is very different with diverse life experiences including terrible health scares, love and loss, and along the way, satisfying corporate careers that we left some time ago. Or seemingly just a while ago. 

Where we are similar is that we all want back in, and want to help each other back in. The very essence of this program. I would say that these are the women who change Madeline Albright's famous quote of "there's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women" to be more positive. Perhaps there's a special place in heaven for those who do. 

So today we got together for two hours of laughing and catching up and sharing, as well as positive encouragement as we continue our search for the right job or project.  Oh yes, and blueberry muffins--not bad there at the Newton Marriott.  We shared our doubts and insecurities, and the elation of one woman of the group who is back in the saddle. 

So here's the root of the root of this blog post, which is more serious than most. If you are out of work, or changing your mind about what you are doing, don't get on Linked In. Sorry, millenials, but here I want you to listen to me. Get out of your house. Find a group of people who are like you, and unlike you, but actually like you (did you follow that?) and get out with them. Share. Listen. Learn. Laugh. Ideas flow (yes, we just now need a product for the C6 to take off as its own company ;)) and insights too. 

After two hours of chatting and trading stories and news, we bundled up in our winter coats and walked out into the biting wind.  We'll be together again in three weeks sharing what's new or what's not. It is the best confidence-builder ever. Community.  Do not underestimate its power.