One With The Table - Cambridge, MA

An example of a spreadsheet program...not necessarily our host...

Yesterday we spent some time with the products of a very large and very Seattle-based company. I am not going to name it no matter what, but considering most of us use its products every day, it is going to be fairly obvious to you all.  

Our cohort was invited to use their space in Kendall Square (lovingly referred to as NERD - the New England Research and Development center--ummm, oops?), and what a wonderful space it was! Big, airy, open, and filled with computers for our use.  Also enough stalls for the girls in the women's bathroom--I am keeping a separate file of best cohort hosts and yes, bathroom stalls do play into the equation. Chalk one up for NERD.

After a great introduction and life history from a general manager at said company, we were ready to hit the computers. Not literally, as that is frowned upon. Also, that is usually done by my kids. With a football. Which reminds me that I am from the generation when if our TV was not working, my brother and I would wallop it on the side and suddenly the static was gone.  I kind of miss that wallop--if the TV is not working now, I just have to wait for FiOS to figure itself out. 

Anyway, our class was on home computing and business computer products (it is soooooo hard not to name this company) was led by a hilarious and contracted non-host-company-employee. She taught us some tricks on the spreadsheet product (errgh) and what "contextual ribbons" are. After about a half hour and some silence as we figured out these ribbons, she looks up and comments "Is anyone learning anything?" in such a desperate way, I had to laugh. 

And we were learning. My favorite learning: you must "Be One With the Table." As in, before you started changing any calculations or charts, you had to make sure you had selected a cell within the spreadsheet's table. We ran into problems consistently not following the "one with the table" admonition and she would repeat the mantra. She cracked a number of jokes and when we did not immediately respond, she told us that "These are funny jokes, people." And they were. I loved her. Most fun learning spreadsheets ever. 

Then we moved on to the company's integrated messaging, presentation, spreadsheet and who knows, perhaps it also makes dinner. And our teacher says "it's smarter than all the guys I dated in high school" and I clarify "combined?" and she says yes. This is the humor I love. This is what I miss about the work world--the smart comments, the building off each other's ideas. Not that building off my kids' lego ideas hasn't been fun, but come on. This morning at the bus stop I had to hear why the elephant crossed the road (the chicken was busy). 

Now, I will say this. I think I should name the company that hosted us because I LOVED their products. LOVED. Their updated 2013 and 2016 versions are fabulous and intelligent (not, so far, smarter than my high school boyfriends, but definitely more malleable).  But I won't, because a promise is a promise (made at the beginning of this blog).  

In any case, the cohort is off next week so I probably will not be posting. Maybe turkey pictures. Me being one with the table of food. Is anyone learning anything?

Scrambled on a Plate - Wellesley, MA

Photo credit: www.center4oe.com

One of the central tenets of the ReacHIRE program is providing refreshment of professional on-the-job skills. Halfway through the program we have covered data analysis, software coding, google products, pivot table and powerpoint. All have been at the very least valuable, and at their very best, full of "a-has" and proud moments of "hey, this is kind of cool!" 

One of the most tired adages of life is that what comes around, goes around. Yes, you laugh about your elders  being outdated (anyone remember going to mom's house to find that they've covered the blinking time on the DVD player with black electric tape? Yes)....and then suddenly you are yelling at Siri who does not seem to know what "call home" actually means.

There is a cartoon I still remember, I think it was from the New Yorker, but could be a newspaper, in 1992. It was about a visit of then-president George H Bush to a supermarket in Orlando where he was "amazed" by supermarket technology such as the electronic scanner that shows the price. Here he is, quoted in the New York Times:

"I just took a tour through the exhibits here," he told the grocers later. "Amazed by some of the technology."- New York Times, February 4, 1992.

(By the way, the above article has been found to be faulty on research (look here) and the incident is really urban legend). 

The cartoon, which I cannot find, showed him looking at a carton of eggs and saying something like "Wow! They come this way? I thought they came scrambled on a plate!"  And we all laughed about how out of touch our president was in his White House with his chef.

But I've just had my first scrambled on a plate moment. Not, actually, technology-induced as frankly, Powerpoint and Excel haven't changed THAT much. In fact, they've gotten easier. No, my moment came with project management, a skill I learned in my first "real" job out of college at Visa. I was never project manager, but always part of a team as we looked to launch new fraud monitoring and risk management products in Latin America and Europe. 

A couple of Saturdays ago, we spent six hours at Babson, which graciously hosted us as we brushed up on project management. To be honest, the first four hours were a bit of a snooze for me since I knew so-called "waterfall" project management and really not much has changed there. Still have nightmares about Gantt charts. 

Photo credit: agile-scrum-master-training.com

But then suddenly we were building paper airplanes and throwing them. And that was my introduction to Agile Project Methodology--a new-to-me project management theory that has nothing to do with paper airplane building and everything to do with it. It was a scrambled egg moment.....oooh, project management is FUN for once, and not a Gantt chart in sight! The point of the paper airplane exercise was doing a short-term project with multiple iterations that would improve the overall results. Yeah, okay, it's more complex that that.

I won't go into all of the workings of Agile. There is a whole new set of vocabulary including "scrum masters", "scrum teams", "sprints", "burndown charts" and "user stories." For more helpful information, you can visit here. It seems to be mostly mentioned as a methodology for software development projects, but it has practical application everywhere. In my opinion. 

Here's what I love about Agile. It is, as they say, incremental, iterative and empirical. Instead of a long project horizon, there is a "sprint" set up for two-four weeks for a "scrum team" with a "scrum master" who helps clear the path for the team and communicates progress. And one of the best parts of Agile--instead of those interminable project meetings, there is a "daily scrum", a stand-up meeting of 15 minutes when the 3-7 person team talks about what they are working on and what may be standing in the way. Issues that come up are added to a backlog and are put into play on the following sprints.

Agile is cool. I decided to put it into daily use as of two weeks ago planning for my twins' 9th birthday party last Wednesday. That was the sprint. Two weeks til party. I was the scrum master because I am the queen of communications in my household. Okay, I was also part of the development team which is where things fall apart a bit on the analogy but work with me.

Stand-up meetings, check. Short-time frame, check. Prioritization of user stories (mostly twins' requests for whatever), check. I loved when I could say "sorry, that Gronk-frosted cake is not on this sprint. You get the Patriots colors and that's it." Oh, all right, the kid cried so we moved up the user request. 

 

 

 

Yeah, the edible Gronk photo was my one scrum master fail

So, yes, I do feel a bit like George H Bush (and that will be the LAST time you ever hear me say that) as I was "amazed" at current times in the business world. Eggs that don't come scrambled on a plate. A project methodology that moves fast like today's development cycles. Love.

The Inner Critic - Boston, MA

 

image credit: franticbutfabulous.com

One of the hardest parts of joining a career re-entry program is having to look hard at yourself. The easy parts for me are software coding (just kidding, that's incomprehensible but entertaining) and hearing from our training partners about what they do and how we can use their technologies. Frankly it's fun to be invited into these different companies and cultures and getting an inside look at free lunch, key cards to get into parking lots and taking the wrong elevator which means you are 10 minutes late to a meeting and locked out. Well, not me personally. In all seriousness, I am grateful to these companies that have volunteered space and time to support women going back to work.

The hard parts: elevator pitch writing, profile summaries, re-writing the resume, etc. And when I say "etc." I mean pulling out your strengths and weaknesses without cringing and beating yourself up about decisions of the past. Dusting off what you did and making it shine. Trying to explain what you've been doing for the last eight years.

Here's the root of the root (as ee cummings would say): I have no regrets about taking time off. In fact the whole phrase "taking time off" is hilarious to me. I have twins. I have boys. They both began life with health issues. And even now resolved, there is no "time off." There is no off-ramping--who comes up with phrases? I didn't off-ramp, I got into the craziest dang rotary of my life--picture the Arc de Triomphe one where you can't even figure out which exit is next.

In fact, going to an office would be quite relaxing for me. If I get asked in an interview about whether or not I am a good multi-tasker, I promise that I will not burst into hysterical laughter. Okay, kinda promise. Depends on how many soccer games, PTO meetings, kung fu, homework meltdowns and Nutcracker practices I have had the night before. 

I spent the last six years in Brazil. That experience I would never trade for more time in the meeting rooms. I learned how to do business in another culture and language, found ways to turn my own impressions into helpful information for fellow expatriates (I blogged about security issues in the big city of São Paulo) and volunteered in my kids' international school. I have friends from all over the world, not only from Kellogg where I got my MBA, but the expatriates posted to Brazil. I have learned out to say sit down in German (hinsetzen!) when super-tall blonde people get in my view of the TVs at the World Cup party at the German Institute. It could be useful; one never knows.

But I digress. What else is new? Oh yes, the self-awareness and self-appraisal--notice how I found a way to avoid it again? So the first assignment was the elevator pitch. That is really tough. I hope I get on an elevator that goes really fast and I can just get out two sentences like "I am a market development and management professional who enjoys working with new products and tailoring messages to target audiences." How does one summarize who they are and what they enjoy in a sentence? And not I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain which would never get me a job because I don't have a singing voice. See how nicely that can be changed from "warbles like a sick heron".  It's all in your phrasing.

We spent time looking at how former co-workers would describe us. I talked to one former boss in Miami who gave me such a lovely long positive list, I literally blushed in front of my computer. I thought to myself "wow, I really was pretty good at what I did." Because sometimes we forget. Sometimes we also forget our children at the bus stop but who's counting? And then another former colleague I asked for my strengths also sent me my weaknesses (without me asking! Be nice!) and I thought "hey, wtf?" and then I read it and I said, yes those are true. Mostly when he said that I could be a little direct in my feedback. Ummm, yes, true story. I am not mean. Just direct. 

Now I am working on my resume. The format has all changed from when I was a wee thing (eight years ago) and apparently some of my really proud moments are not relevant to my resume. Like learning Portuguese in six months. Like getting appointed to a town committee and two PTO roles in the first year I was here (maybe I was supposed to duck? Wait, I think I just figured out why those are not positives). A friend just gave me a set of napkins that read "Stop me before I volunteer again." Sigh.

One of the best presentations for me so far in this program has been a talk by Susan Brady about Coaching Your Inner Critic. You can see her here.  Her inner critic training is really about telling yourself that you have to be on the lookout for those moments when you feel like being critical of others ("He just doesn't get it." or "what an idiot") -- One-Up moments -- and those moments when you are overcritical of yourself "I can't believe I said that" or " what a dumb thing I just did" -- One-down moments.The simple concept is to try to "right size" our self-image. 

On this journey from stay-at-home mom (and awesomely interesting blogger, let's be truthful here, oops back to the lesson above) to severely-delayed-at-Alewife-going-to-work-again, the challenge will be confidence. Yes, I did that, yes I am doing that, and yes, I am ready to do the other thing now. Did that make sense? Note to self: work on elevator pitch.

And to all you self-doubts, hinsetzen!!

 

Vulnerability Management - Boston, MA

Image courtesy of the customizewindows.com

So yesterday my ReacHIRE cohort visited a data security firm in downtown Boston. The day reminded me of many things about my life as a full-time worker. 

The day started with unwarranted elation. I got my kids dressed, fed and on the yellow bus all by myself (BH --my husband --is traveling). I am pretty sure their pants were on frontwards but possibly one was inside out. Whatever. 

I hopped in the car for what is usually a 25 minute drive to the Alewife T station...I was singing to the Eagles (I love Sirius) when the traffic came to a dead halt in Lexington. So instead of arriving at 8:05 at the station (I was already fantasizing about a huge latte at the Starbucks in Boston and taking my time getting to the company), I got there at 8:32. I ran down the escalator, chucked my card in the tollbooth, and hopped onto the subway car just as the doors were closing. Yep sweating and puffing, but I was on. So much for unwarranted elation.

But enough about the commute. That was the bad stuff about working days. Back to the good stuff: The company we visited was only 2 minutes from the T station at Downtown Crossing so I was at the reception desk at 8:58 and sitting at the conference table at 9:01. Love high speed elevators. 

As the first two presenters got started on talking about the company, I admit I fell a little bit in love. Not with the presenters, which would be inappropriate, but with the company. What they are doing is much like my first job except fast-forwarded to the 21st Century (yep, I had the other job in the last century). The ideas are the same: the execution completely different. The company is different; a startup where I worked for a large "non-profit" association. But the fun is there.

My first job was in risk management and security for a large credit card company in California. Oh, all right, it was Visa, you can see that on my resume. That job was SO MUCH FUN! It was like cops and robbers -- and we really did have former FBI agents on staff. We were always trying to keep one step ahead, but usually trying to be less than one step behind, the bad guys. Visa would put a hologram on the credit card: within days the bad guys had copied it. Ditto magnetic strips, coded numbers around the banners, whatever. We had a top secret lab where a chosen few got to see the latest in bad guy hi-jinks. I only visited once in three years but I still remember thinking "THIS IS SO COOL!"  Too bad I had to get an MBA. Oh, okay, maybe I would have gotten tired of the job in the end but mostly it was always a new challenge and a new solution.

Data security reminds me much of this. Continually checking networks and assets for known threats, and being ready for unknown threats by practicing "disaster recovery". 

The new term I learned for all of this is "vulnerability management." And it reminded me of talking with one Visa risk management guy who said to me "it is no wonder that we are always behind--bad guys take this even more seriously than we do. They spend all their time being bad while we treat this as a job. To them it is life." That makes us vulnerable.

I love what they are doing. One of their offerings is hacking into their clients' computers and showing them where they didn't take the appropriate protection or recovery steps. They have programs to discover and fight the vulnerabilities. They are the cops to the data robbers of today. 

A reminder perhaps that one can find fun jobs. Maybe in two different centuries. Millenia even.